Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I wish life had little blips of pornography
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
