Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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