hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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