what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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