i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
