You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
