he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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