does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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