I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
