I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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