I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we're so committed to being not committed
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
