guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
my poor anus
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
