Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize