I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
