Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
operation harelip BJ is a go
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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