Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
