she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
