Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
