Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
