I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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