he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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