Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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