the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
