the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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