Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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