Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
