when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I won't apologize to a one balled man
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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