If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize