Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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