I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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