sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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