I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just forgot I was standing up.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
