I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
