Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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