Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
