Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
