smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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