I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
