I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
