weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
