Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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