Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
this will be a night to untag.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
