Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
