I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
