period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
