Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
