And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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