Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
