His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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