Screwed.edu
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
