I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
