he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
