I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Drake has all the answers
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
