I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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