found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Drunk is not a location!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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