I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize