3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
