If that was your dad, he is hot
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
