I think I am morally bankrupt
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
