i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
