Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
