break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
